Real Life Conversations That Didn’t Happen This Morning….

Scene: The Oval Office, the White House, Washington, D. C.

Characters: Condi Rice, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney

GWB: So did you guys see the Grammys last night?

CR: Absolutely! That Justin Timberlake has definitely brought sexy back.

DC: I was tired. My pacemaker needed a break. You know me, in bed by 6 PM. Besides, when Lionel Richie is singing a song from before the first Bush was in office, it isn’t exactly a cutting edge show…

GWB: Seemed like the Grammy voters were pretty upset. Those Dixie Chicks people won a lot of awards. Didn’t they hate on me at some point?

CR: Haters! Go on and brush your shoulders off…

GWB: What did they say exactly?

CR: That they were ashamed to be from the same state as you.

GWB: Dude, Texas is huge. Tons of people are from there…

CR: Including them.

DC: You know who else is from Texas? The one, the only Gambler…Mr. Kenny Rogers! If Lionel Richie can be on the show why couldn’t they reunite Kenny and Dolly to sing “Islands in the Stream”?

GWB: So their album won a lot of awards. Seems like the music elite would be sending us a message. Maybe they are unhappy?

CR: Yeah maybe.

GWB: I guess that we really need to rethink our entire foreign policy and do everything we can to pacify Natalie Maines and the Grammy voters. Let’s get all the advisers together and completely rethink this whole Iraq situation…

DC: But only if they go back to being blond again. That is the only way we should make nice.

CR: I’ll see if I can make it happen. I'll get Shakira on the phone...she is an excellent negotiator. Her hips don't lie...